“Why do you drink so much?”
“It makes me feel brave,” I said.
“I’m scared too, but you don’t see me drinking.”
“Your ‘scared’ and my ‘scared’ are two different things.”
She turned toward me, reached out her hand, and touched my earlobe.
“It’s all right. Don’t worry. I’ll be by your side,” she said
“It seems to me that this world has a serious shortage of both logic and kindness.”
“You may be right,” Aomame said. “But it’s too late to trade it in for another one.”
“The exchange window expired a long time ago,” Ayumi said.
“And the receipt’s been thrown away.”
“You said it.”
“Oh, well, no problem,” Aomame said. “The world’s going to end before we know it.”
“Sounds like fun.”
She smiles. A smile that promises spring.
“Unclose your mind. You are not a prisoner. You are a bird in flight, searching the skies for dreams.”
“Will you do me two favors?”
“You may have up to three wishes, madame.”
“No, two will be enough. One is for you to realize how grateful I am that you came to see me here. I hope you’ll understand how happy you’ve made me. I know it’s going to save me if anything will. I may not show it, but it’s true.”
“I’ll come to see you again,” I said. “And what is the other wish?”
“I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed and that I stood next to you here like this?”
“Always,” I said. “I’ll always remember.”
“I believe you said there is a particular man you are in love with.”
“Yes, it’s true, but the chances of my actually being with him are infinitely close to zero. So even if I were to die, the resulting loss would also be infinitely close to zero.”
“Is there a concrete reason that you think you probably will never be united with him?”
“Not in particular,” she said. “Other than the fact that I am me. But the most important thing to me is the fact that I want him with my whole heart.”
“But if you do go somewhere far away, and I never see you again, I know I’ll feel a little sad. You’re a rare sort of character, a type I’ve seldom come across before.”
Aomame smiled into the phone. “That’s pretty much the impression I wanted to leave you with.”
“Life is a lot more fragile than we think. So you should treat others in a way that leaves no regrets. Fairly, and if possible, sincerely. It’s too easy not to make the effort, then weep and wring your hands after the person dies.”
“But that’s real hard, isn’t it?” she said
“Real hard,” I said. “But it’s worth trying for.”
“You’re wasting your life being involved with me.”
“I’m not wasting anything.”
“But I might never recover. Will you wait for me forever?”
“You’re letting yourself be scared by too many things,” I said. “The dark, bad dreams. You have to forget them. I’m sure you’ll get well if you do.”
